A rendezvous with my soul!

I Wish,

I wish to fly beyond horizons

where no man has ever been

I Wish,

I wish to tame my horrid emotions,

which no senses can ever feel

I Wish,

I wish to be criticized with all notions,

yes i'm so very keen

I Wish,

I wish to be loved with no conditions,

right to love,heart craves for

I Wish,

I wish this world accepts a human,

with all his pros,with all his cons

I Wish,

I wish beautiful things remain the same,

intact it remains with utmost fervour

I Wish,

I wish,no wish,wants to remain a wish

this soul is innocent,hope it remains the same...

The fight with sleep

The sun is just out. Birds are chirping loud. Everything has arrived at my doorstep. Milk,Newspaper all ready.

It's one hell of a fight. Yeah the clash of the titans.

It tries its best not to allow me to move.

I try,I fail.

I try again,I fail again.

It manages to keep me subdued.It manages to dominate me.Yeah it has got support of external forces too.

Finally i try my best, with full determination, maximum effort, defying all opposition and force.

Yes i won. Belive me it was tough. I'm still feeling the after-effects. Mine was the knock out punch. But i'm sure it will try again tommorow with new set of forces.

But today i was the winnner. I will cherish the defining moment.

Yes i woke up finally!

THE ASSASINATOR-I

Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional with no resemblance to persons dead or alive. If otherwise,its purely co-incidental.

I was born in the Dorchester neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts, the youngest of five children, with siblings Jack, Jim, nathalie, Mike.

Iam of Swedish, Irish, and French Canadian ancestry. My mother, karty joseph, was a bank clerk and nurse's aide, and father, Joseph Edward , was a Teamster who worked as a delivery driver. My parents divorced in 1973. I had a Catholic upbringing and attended Even Square High School (but never graduated) on Ashley Street in Even Square in Boston.

As a teenager, I stole cars, abused drugs and alcohol, and got into fights.At fifteen, I was amongst a group who threw rocks at a group of African American school children on a field trip while shouting racial epithets.The following year, I robbed a pharmacy while I was under the influence of PCP. During the commission of the crime, I used racial slurs. I knocked one middle aged Vietnamese man unconscious and permanently blinded another in one eye before I was arrested by the police.I was tried as an adult and charged for attempted murder. Pleading guilty to the lesser charge of assault,I was sentenced to two years in

jail at Boston's Woodstock Island House of Correction, of which I served 45 days. In yet another incident, At the age of 21, I fractured the jaw of a neighbor in an unprovoked attack.

I was not bad. It was just that I didn't know what I should do in life. I ran away from home at the age of 22,after my father beat me up for my wrong doings. I was hungry that day. I was shivering with cold. Unable to bear the hunger, I decided that I will steal food from a neighbourhood eating joint.

I was almost successful in my attempt but a sturdy man caught me up, with my collar and started abusing me. I was frightened. I picked up a stone nearby and smacked it on his head. He started bleeding and got unconscious.I don't know what happened next. I ran away from that place.

After roaming around for 2 days I met a man named Francis.He was a black man, very tall with a robust built.He took me to a shabbily managed room where a group of men were playing cards. I was told to prove myself to get into the gang. I was given a 'Target' and was told to eliminate it in 1 days time.

Yes they called them the 'Target'. Their job was to eliminate the 'Target' at any cost. They were never given the information about the targets.If one fails, he had to lose his life.I agreed as I saw no other life for me.

I was successful. They cheered me and welcomed me into their gang.

Yes i was called

"THE ASSASINATOR"
to be continued......

Sometimes, we need to defy logic

"It's a Boy",a voice of a girl, dressed in an attire of a nurse, in a TV advertise knocked my ears. I peeped up my head like an ostrich and got glued to the T.V set.

Yes it was the bajaj pulsar advertisement in the year 2003. Its big robust fuel tank with round headlights amazed my eyes like what a choclate does to girls!

I knew i wanted that.

I went to dad and politely said, "Dad i want that bike".

Dad thundered,"Son,I think you are supposed to study. Stop running behind material things. They won't be with you forever"

For a 17 year old like me it hardly mattered what things are and what material things are!

I made a frowning face and straightaway ran to mom. I knew mom is the person who will make dad do it for me.

But my dad was a tough nut to crack. My dad always believed that all things should be done at a proper age and i was not even of driving age.I might lose my way and get distracted and eventually studies would suffer.

He was right in his own way but i differed big time. I wanted it in any case. I stopped talking with everybody at home. My little sis came to me and said,"Stop it anna,u are acting like a small kid"

I didn't budge and finally after 2 days of silence, i got my desire.

Wow! what a feeling it was when i drove it for the first time.

Now exactly after 6 years I was in a dilemma. My bike was ageing and after a few more years it would become a scrap. So it was nothing but logical to sell it off.

Last saturday i went to my bike,had a quiet look at it,moved over my hands on it and said, "No, I can't do this to you. I got you after so much of struggle".

I kick started it, went to the garage and totally revamped it, So what if it cost me some fortune. It was a logically foolish but sometimes in lyf you have to defy logic!

I love it much more now. I get that royal feeling. I feel like god!

"Old is gold,never to be sold"

Some days back,this thought was just a statement made by some profound thinker!

I never thought the memories associated or the feeling attached with a material can be so strong. But its a fact. After all we are humans and we have a heart,which feels! :-)

My first Crush

Reading blogs on love makes me travel back to my school days when Cupid struck me for the 1st time

It was my 8th std when I was nothing but a complete nerd who knew nothing other than studies. One fine day my class teacher came to our section and announced that a new member is joining from tomorrow and we should extend all possible help to her.I was like come-on, what's so much fuss about it.Just Another new girl in class.

Next morning in school, boys were eagerly awaiting the new girl's entry and girls were simply not interested.

Well finally after seeing so much of hullaboo, I decided that i will ask my friends about her. After asking few questions i came to know that she was from Pakistan!

Well don't get shocked guys and if you do get shocked it's not your fault coz even i was ,at that point of time. She was a sindhi girl and her family had shifted to India on behest of their relatives suggestion who stayed in pimpri, a sindhi dominated area in Pune.

She entered the class with nervousness written all over her face. So many eyes staring at her didn't help her cause.Her name was Rakhi. She was very cute with two little ponnies marking her hairstyle.She slowly walked up to the second row and had a seat.

Well she was a shy girl. Infact for the first 3 days of her class she never interacted with anyone. Many guys tried to break-ice with her but in vain. I also remember, she complained to the class teacher of not able to feel comfortable as she was weak in hindi. On her behest our principal shifted her cousin sister to our class from a different division.

I never talked with her in the first week until one Marathi lecture. Slowly slowly i started getting attracted to her not because she was new and cute but i found her very intresting. One day i was in utter shock when my Marathi teacher told me to shift my seat right besides her..whooaa...i was dumb struck!!!

I was not at all comfortable as i was as much shy just like her.I didnt know what to do. I picked up my bag and slowly started walking towards

her seat. In the way i found 10's and 20's of jealous eyes staring at me as if i had committed a grave crime. I stopped looking at everyone.I went upto her and very skeptically i asked her," Are you comfortable with me sitting beside you?" She said,"No".

I heaved a sigh of relief. I straightaway ran to my teacher and said that she was not at all comfortable sitting besides me so Im going back to my place.Teacher gave me a grave stare. She said,"go and sit besides her,now".

I calmly looked down and started walking again. I said to her,"Rakhi,I'm really sorry but I have no other option but to sit besides you. I'm really sorry!" Looking at my face she started giggling. I was blank. I started thinking as to what was so amusing in it.

Days passed,Rakhi and me become very good friends.Not to forget her cousin sister Roma who was with me in the same school since 5th std.We three became a menace.

I remember the days when i used to write homeworks for rakhi as she didnt knew even abcd of marathi.The first time I helped her escape punishment for non-completion of a home-work and how she smiled at me is still so fresh in my mind.A special thanks to her as i was completely a changed

guy when I reached 10th coz it was her who made me feel comfortable while talking to girls!

I had a strong crush on her but never had enough courage to tell her. I feared that I might lose my friendship. I still can't

forget my send-off day when I was heart broken as the feeling of going apart started sinking in me.

After 10th we lost touch. Recently I met her at a shopping mall few weeks back. She was looking so beautiful and guess what... I told her about my crush to her and we both started giggling and remembered those naughty high school moments together. We exchanged wishes, had a cup of coffee together,exchanged our numbers and promised not to lose touch this time

around!

dil nei kaisi harkat ki hei- A Short Story

"dil nei kaisi harkat ki hei,
pehli baar...mohabbat ki hei...
aakhri baar... mohabbat ki hei"


It was the same song which they loved to hear every time they used to travel in his car.
She used to gaze at him for long every time she heard this song.
Tears rolled out of his eyes. Today was not the same. Everything seemed so stopped for him.

Events started unfolding in front of his eyes. Today he had planned a beautiful dinner for her in their all time
favourite restuarant. A bouquet of roses still fresh as if they are still unplucked. A candle light dinner with a sweet
jazzy song in the background completed his menu for a perfect date.
No wonder he loved her from the bottom of his heart. He lived for her,laughed with her,cried for her.

He could remember the day when he saw her for the first time. Her beautiful curly hair,
Eyes which almost stopped everyones movements. She was just beautiful,very beautiful. An angel without wings.
He instantly fell in love with her.

Visuals just flashed by.

The day he had proposed, in front of the whole college, how she was embarrased as well as happy that a guy could love her so
much.
Her birthday,the huge cake which he had brought by saving his pocket money. The fights he had with his friends when they spoke against her.
Now he was almost crying. He was hardly able to control his emotions.


How could she? How can she? These words just rocked his heart and mind with the deepest echo he had ever heard.
She did come for the dinner but She was not herself. She was very quiet today. Very very quiet. He knew something was wrong.
He asked her,"Is everything ok karry?"


She looked at him,holded his palms and kissed his forehead. "I can't marry you amar",she said. Amar was shocked. He was speechless.
He looked at her. Amar asked,"They said no?". She calmly replied,"Yes".This was his last hope.He  shouted,"Let them have their desicion.
Lets run away karri. You know i can't live without you".

She was almost in tears. "I can't amar..you know that",she said. Amar did not know what to do.

It was his cast that came between their love. Karri's dad was a heart patient.
It would have been a crime if She would have left her parents just for her own happiness.
Amar had tried his best to convince her dad. She choosed her parents over him.
Today was her last try to convince them.

"They have decided my engagement date Amar. This is the last time i'm meeting you. I don't want to spoil our life. I know,if we
remain close to each other we would never forget each other", uttering this she picked up her bag looked at him for one last time
and left away.

He was shattered. He was heart broken. His tears were uncontrollable.
He increased the volume of the song and accelerated hard.
Images of karishma kept flashing in his mind. Suddenly he lost control of the vehicle and off it went towards the other side of the road.
A loud bang and a nasty collision. It was the last time he heard this song

"dil nei kaisi harqat ki hei....
pehli baar mohabbat ki hei...
aakhri baar mohabbat ki hei......"

Words!

Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain,

Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once again....

I got lost in these words while listening to the song.

No wonder i felt related or should I say, every grown up child, for once must have thought about his/her childhood.

I sometimes admire at the power of words. They can make u feel. They can make u go numb. They can make u cry and they make you laugh and roll on the floor.

Words have such immense power that they drive a human to success. They change forms. Sometimes words take shape of motivation. Sometimes they become Somebody's inspiration.

Words create magic in many cases..

A boy proposing a girl,

A husband caring for his wife

A dad motivating his son

A mother making her infant sleep

There are innumerable instances when words rule a person's soul,mind and body.

As they say every postive has a negative, Words too are part of this universe. They can become bad if used in a unhuman way. The same way as they motivate,they can kill too. Its upon us how we use it to our best.

With all respect to music,I say words are its soul. Without words, no music can sound special. I also agree to the fact that classical ragas create wonders without words but for me words make it complete!

As a child i loved playing with words and i'm happy that at 23 its still my favourite toy!

I will keep writing till my last breathe!

And that's a promise with the 'words' I have made to my soul.

That friendly neighbourhood Mechanic!

He is 26.  After a long search for one good garage, I sighed,"yes at last...my bike is in safe hands!"

1 hour ago...

It was a very lazy sunday.I had searched for long but always failed to find out one good garage near my house. Finally i stumbled upon a board plate naming "Devi Automobiles". A huge tree just besides the shop provided a comforatble shade for people working on the bikes. There was a banner having a slogan '"Only bikes and Humans allowed". I smiled at the banner. I stopped my bike and queried to a guy working on a bajaj eliminator.He was a dark,slim personality with a characteristic red T-shirt and a red cap giving his frail body the requisite cover.

I said,"brother...halat khasti hei iski...kuch karna padega"

He gave a smile and said, "dekhta hu..bas 5 min"

I took a newspaper and started reading. He finished up his current assignment and called me up.

"Bhai..aapka disc ukhad gaya hei..naya kit bithana padega...peeche ke brake kei liner ka game baj gaya hei"

Instantly, i felt the same old mumbaiyaness in his language!

I asked him,"Bhai kidhar sei ho tum?"

"Uttar Pradesh"..he said.

"Phir yeh mumbaiyaa accent kaha sei"?,I exclaimed!

"Yaha aake 3 saal ho gaya mujhe...accent toh aana hi tha",he replied.

Just as i was about to ask him another question his phone started ringing. Picking up the phone he said, "Yes rohan garage..what can i do for u? he kept continuing,"Oh i think the battery of your bike needs some charge...please bring it to my garage.I will have a look into it"

I was shell-shocked! The manner in which he was uttering his words would have left anybody spell-bounded!

My curiosity to know more about him increased.

I asked him," How much have you studied?"

"I'm doing my final year BA",he replied.

"Then why working in a garage?",I asked in english after knowing his prowess in the language.

"I love bikes. When i was small i used to stand near a garage near my hometown and kept a keen eye on what work was done. Slowly slowly i picked up the knowledge and applying it is what i'm doing",he said.

I got amazed and asked," Why did you go for arts..why not engineering?"

He laughed at my silly question.

"Obviously if I had enough money i would have done that. My dad is a truck driver. The money which he earned could only make us survive. Forget about engineering I'm lucky to have completed my schooling"

I felt a bit sad. I kept quiet for a while. I kept looking at what he was doing.The ease and speed at which he was performing his work was simply astounding.

After about an hour he finished all his work and said " Yeh lei Bhai...tera bike khatakhat ho gaya"

i said jokingly,"Woh toh chalanei kei baad hi pata chalega na"

I gave him the billed amount and said,"Brother im deeply influenced by your dedication and love for bikes...I want to see u putting up a much more big garage than this"

He smiled,"Yaah sure,why not"!

All the way back i was thinking,

We crib so much about our work.We always complain and make ourself stressed if our work does not get completed on time.Instead of loving our work we blame at its intensity.

I was happy atleast, one more lesson learnt and that too by a friendly neighbourhood mechanic!